Break-ups are hard, terrible and upsetting – especially if you are the one that has been dumped. You feel as if your whole world is falling apart and the one person, who was always there to help you mend it back together, is suddenly not. When you are not ready to end a relationship and still have many deep feelings for your ex-partner, it can be extremely hard to get over that person and what could have been. We feel as if we are the only person to ever go through a break-up or to experience this pain, it can be hard to take advice from your close friends and family.
Many people cannot cope with the sadness of a relationship ending and this might spiral them into a state of depression and anxiety, where they suddenly become anti-social and reclusive. We have all been there before and in that moment you truly believe that you will never meet anyone who will ever come close to perfect as your ex-lover. However, there are coping mechanisms that can help lead you down the path of self-recovery and before we know it our broken hearts will be mender. It is true that time heals everything and hind-sight is important in cementing how far we have come.
Once we have healed from the pain that is heart break we often want to get back out into the world of dating. It can be a scary and nerve-wracking prospect, and although we may be over our ex it is very hard to give ourselves to another in such an emotional and intimate way. Sometimes many of us feel ready to be sexually active gain but without the whole relationship aspect as we do not want to fully give ourselves to somebody else until we are 100% healed.
When people ask me how I got over my heart-break and how I eased my way back into the dating scene, many are surprised to hear that it was Tantric Massage that helped me to do so. Therefore, I will share my story with you today to help you understand more of how tantric massage helped heal my broken heart and how it could do the same for you.
How tantric massage healed my broken-heart…
When I was 26, my fiancé and love of my life suddenly walked out of my life. Nicola and I had been with each other since we were sixteen and had basically grown up together. We went through puberty together, exams together and we lost our virginity to one another. She was all I knew and when she walked out of our shared apartment in Marylebone on that gloomy, Tuesday afternoon, a part of me left with her.
The next few months were extremely hard and I didn’t know how to pick myself up and move on from this heart-break. All of our wedding plans were cancelled, she moved out of the flat and my life had turned to grey. I luckily have fantastic family and friends who supported me and made every attempt to keep me busy and occupied so I would not think of Nicola. I tried to keep my schedule busy in order to distract my mind from any negative feelings. However, no matter where I was or what I was doing I would suddenly become overwhelmed with pangs of sadness because everything reminded me of her.
I became depressed and a version of myself that my family and friends no longer recognised. My behaviour and mood did not reflect the person I really was and these signs pushed me to make a change and look after myself. I knew I needed to put myself first and accept myself and realise that I was worthy. One thing I encourage everyone to do is to always remember that just because one person does not want you, that does not mean you should put yourself down. It is not a reflection of you, it is a reflection them and their problems. Never let anybody make you feel bad; remember that you are in control of your own happiness – nobody else.
I actively started doing things that I loved and genuinely made me happy. Even if I used to do it with Nicola, instead of avoiding it, I accepted that she was once in my life but I am on a new chapter now. And that was okay. After a year of practising this positive mind-set I finally felt as if I knew who I was for the first time. I learned my strengths and weaknesses and I taught myself how to focus on my health, both physically and mentally and to always put myself first. Although I knew I was not ready to enter into a serious, committed relationship, I got to the point where I wanted to enjoy sexual activity again and have a little fun. This can often be difficult however as the whole “friends with benefits” thing can become messy.
One of my friends told me of how he had recently visited an erotic tantric massage parlour in central London and suggested that I try it. I was very apprehensive at first as I had only ever been intimate with Nicola even though I was twenty six. However, my friend comforted me with the fact that the masseuse does not care and that she passes no judgement. Therefore, I decided to give it a go. TO my surprise it was a perfect way to ease me back into sex and dating life after my heart break. The masseuse was kind and friendly but did not speak too much unless I wanted to which was nice. She asked me what I wanted and how I liked things. I could tell she was highly trained and my mind, body and soul felt replenished and healed afterwards. It was extremely soothing and relaxing and for once I was able to allow my mind to drift away and almost think of nothing which was a calming feeling. I was very grateful towards my friend for suggesting that I have a tantric massage, and although this one event did not directly fix my broken-heart, it gave me the inspiration I needed to continue to build myself and become the best possible version of myself that I could be.
Give it a go…
Although this may seem daunting and scary, it is an empowering way to rediscover your sexual side and build the confidence back that you may have lost through the breakup. You will automatically feel good about yourself and ready to take on anything. I am not saying it will be a direct medicine to healing your heart, but I do promise you that it will help you become happy once again and learn to live your life as your best self.
Break-ups should never define us because we are so much more than what that person made us feel like. Tantric massages will remind you of your greatness and how fantastic you truly are.
If you are going through break up or you just need to be cheered up a little, click here and read more about tantric massage in London.